This kid touched my heart

Today I was playing my online game on my phone. There is a chat on there that I usually don't participate in but there is a 16yr old kid on there who was being bullied and picked on by a few others. I just piped in to try to tell everyone to knock it off. Then he messages me and spills his guts, talking about how bad his life is and how he wants to kill his father for how poor he is treated.
All I could do was talk with the kid. I wanted to help him feel better. So I let him describe all the horrific feelings that were flowing through him and how he has basically given up on life and is set on going to jail for murder. My heart broke for him. I know I have and never will meet this kid but I understand what he feels.
I when I was a teen was a very hostile angry person inside. I too thought like him in ways. So all I could do is tell him how i understand him and that he is better than the way he feels now and that he will be able to rise above it. That his life is more valuable and he will see and understand one day. It may take years to fully break away from the feelings but he has to not let them consume him into doing something regrettable. I don't know this kid but I kind of felt like I had to help him. We spoke for an hour or so. Finally in the end I think I helped him see that he has a future ahead of him and that it hurts NOW but it will be better in time. He finally broke and said he doesn't wish to harm anyone and said he was crying.
I know that life isn't perfect and for some it is terrible so bad it makes you desperate to attack. Every move you make shapes your future.  Look ahead and think about what you want for yourself. Is prison and death your answer? I think not.

Learning to use the gift of gab wisely

I get it.. not everyone is going to be nice to each other, and that is ok because it is expected.  Sometimes when we are hurt or angry we take it out on others. It is when we abuse our privilege of being able to speak freely that we go overboard.  Talking down to someone because you think it makes you look stronger just prays on ignorance.  It makes you look desperate and needy especially for attention. For those who say they love everyone and say their goals are to help people feel good about themselves,  then turn around and attack others makes you out to be a fake. Then there are those who just consistently have the need to bash others are doing it for a very sad reason. Don't allow them to win by getting to you or you yourself will be dragged down to the same level. Instead help them get up to yours.

Keeping on

Criticism is a nasty thing we all have to deal with. We can't expect everyone to accept everything we do. There will be people who make fun of us and hurt us intentionally. 
The people who accuse people wrongly and try to hurt someone by accusations are the ones who damage others.
It isn't right or fair to others. We must learn to love and accept one another. What is the point of intentionally hurting others. It doesn't make you look better and because you say it doesn't make it true. To purposely try to ruin peoples lives and relationships is WRONG. If you can't accept yourself and love yourself (not be IN LOVE with yourself) there is a difference then you will NEVER truly be happy.

Allowing someone to control you

It is crazy how I used to assume marriage and a relationship was supposed to work. I knew ultimately that things weren't right, but I also thought it wasn't so bad. I thought there was something wrong with ME for the longest time because it wasn't just him that was mean to me, his mom was too. He spent most of his time trying to convince me to let him buy drugs and TELLING, not asking, me to go buy liquor for him. I just dealt with it and kept slinking lower and lower into myself to where I thought I really was pathetic and worthless.  I used to tell people I was completely talentless and couldn't do anything right because that is what I was told by them.. I figured it must be true.
I was pretty good at pretending things were ok in front of my family. The only times I ever complained was when he really upset me by getting drunk and calling me a bunch of bad names. They always told me to leave but I thought it would be better eventually. Within the last 2 years of our marriage,  I started telling friends at work how much I wanted a divorce, but I had no idea how.. he told me over and over throughout the years that I would NEVER make it without him. He told me I would never have a career or be successful in anything and I believed that. I was so nervous to go try anything that I often screwed up job interviews and lab tests in college because he would be in my head telling me I can't do it, then his mom would pop in telling me I wasn't good enough to do it. After a while I gave up on everything. I just quit trying and sat at home and got lazy like he wanted.
After that wasn't good enough for him, he started telling me how much better all his friends teenager girlfriends were than me and how I should hang out with them in order to be like them. It was all for his own personal pleasure to have them around. Then he would brag about his sister buying a nice home or a new car and then tell me I can't have nice things because I'm not good enough for them.
Even nearly 3 years after leaving him he still sends me messages monthly telling me I am trash and worthless then goes and tells anyone who will listen and agree with him. It is sad he can't just move on and leave it alone but no... his ultimate goal is to hurt me in life and try his best to destroy anything good that comes my way. He has even threatened to have his friends tell my husband I cheated on him with them just so he would leave me. He sets me up with questions he knows will anger me so he can take it to a lawyer and attempt to get my visitation with my kids taken away. I am sure his lawyer is actually his mother but it is the problem that comes out of his mouth that is hurtful. I just wish he would just stop and leave me alone. I don't understand why I deserve to be treated this way. I am not mean to him. He will never ever be happy with life until I am starving, homeless, addicted to crack, in jail, and never able to see my kids again. I have news for him, it will NEVER happen...

What is real beauty?

Harshness of a word

People aren't always the nicest to each other. I know, I am not always polite. The way one speaks to another can be the fine line between making someone smile and making someone completely suicidal.

How being bullied can ruin your life

I was bullied. . Bullied as a kid, and badly in my teens years. As a young kid it didn't affect me.. as a teen, it still haunts me into my 30's. I was bullied by my ex husband so badly that even after 2 1/2 years of divorce I still don't have my witt about me. I often find myself getting frustrated in stressful situations because I feel like if I don't do everything perfect that someone is gonna come scold me for it or call me names. Sometimes when someone gets heated with me for little things, like if I don't understand them or if I can't answer their questions it scares me.
I used to get called stupid a lot. I know I am not stupid...but I always feel as if everyone else thinks I am. It was because of years and years of being told I was that my confidence in myself is feeble. 
It is sad really what a bully can do to a person.  It can wreck them completely, it can cause them to hold themselves back, to be afraid to move up, to be afraid to live. IT HAS TO STOP!